I NEED Perspective!

“When the student is ready to learn, the teacher appears.”

Today, I am reminded of the power of intentions.  When I have an intention to learn from life’s experiences…rather than be “taken out” by the circumstance, I find myself open, willing and curious to learn what life has to teach me.  When I am open to learn, the situation becomes an opportunity for growth.  I may not get to choose the situation that I face but I get to choose who I want to be when it comes to the situation.  This perspective is empowering.

My father in-law who is 81 years old, became seriously ill and was hospitalized for over a month.   Dad was a man that refused to retire.  He was running a business that brought him meaning and purpose.  Bottom line…he loved to work and he was determined to keep working.  He had signed a five-year contract believing that this was possible.  Unfortunately, his health dictated otherwise.

This put Darren, my husband in a very difficult position.  Dad’s business could not operate without him. Darren knew the business and it was crucial for him to step in.
The problem was that Dad’s business was in Alberta.  This meant he would have to travel and be away for extended periods of time to manage the business.   The impact of this decision…having so much added responsibility, on top of having a very full life, would make this a very stressful situation.  It was summer and we had so many great plans!  What to do?

When I looked to my values, the decision was clear.  It is my values that guide me and they always bring clarity. My values of family, integrity and loyalty made the choice obvious.  Family mattered…a lot!

We needed to make a decision…the situation had to be dealt with. What was overwhelming was the powerless feeling I had because I did not choose this and… I didn’t like this one bit!

I felt ripped off and resentful.  Unfortunately, resentfulness never changes the situation!

Knowing that things were the way they were…there was no way of changing what we were dealing with, I realized that I had to accept this as my reality . This did not mean I had to like it, or that my feelings were right or wrong…they were real. What needed to shift was my perspective.

As I looked to my value of family and relationship, I knew what was needed and that it was important to make a choice to do the right thing.  

This brought clarity… I was able to connect to what was important to me, ask for what I needed, and this is what guards my joy and peace.  By doing this, I was able to move from feeling powerless, to feeling once again, empowered.

Now don’t get me wrong, this is is not easy.  

In crisis, a lot is demanded physically and emotionally to provide support.   It takes discipline to stay focused and things are hard! When I felt myself emotionally escalating, I would ask myself who do I want to be in this situation? Bottom line…I really do want to live my life in a powerful way!

For each one of us, the story may be different yet what is similar is that we all face difficult and challenging situations. Life provides consistent opportunities for us to learn and grow and we can choose how we want to deal with it. We can decide how we want to handle things and this is what is needed to bring perspective.

The quote, “Feeling will get you closer to the truth of who you are than thinking” by Edgar Tolle, reminds me of how powerful it is to connect to our feelings.  When we do, we give ourselves permission to feel and see things at a deeper level of consciousness.  When we don’t make our feelings wrong but allow these feelings to provide us with information, we get to process our journey and find the answers we need to move us forward.

About the author

margie is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC, ACC) who loves to "To inspire and empower people to live their lives with authenticity, vision and purpose.”