Pay It Forward

I was touched by a story I heard from a man who was impacted by a very small gesture of kindness.  As he told me the story, I could not help but notice how much emotion he experienced as he relived this moment.

Just to give this person a name, let’s call him Bill.  Bill was an accomplished businessman that had been quite successful in his career.  He was a proud family man and he had a great sense of pride in his ability to provide, as most men do.  When the economy turned, Bill felt the impact.

Bill was someone that worked very hard at having a positive perspective in his life no matter what he faced. He trusted that good would come if he maintained consistency. He was diligent at making things happen and he was pursuing many leads that could be a potential possibility.  Yet in spite of all his efforts, business was tough.  His competition was stiff and everyone else in the same line of work was experiencing this reality.  Month to month, Bill felt like his finances were getting further and further behind.  He was very discouraged.

One of the things that Bill loved to do was to stop at Starbucks and have a coffee.  It was a particularly discouraging day so he decided he would stop for a coffee and treat himself.  He felt guilty spending money on something he really did not need but he stood in the lineup anyway, and waited for his turn.  Reading the menu board Bill noticed Starbucks had several seasonal drinks he absolutely loved. Ordering a specialty coffee didn’t make sense, it was way more money…a regular coffee was much cheaper and this would be just fine.

Bill’s turn came and he found himself at the front of the lineup.  When asked what he would like, Bill told the clerk he would absolutely love a large Frappuccino, but today, he did not have the money with him.

Bill was quite surprised with the clerk’s enthusiastic response…. “Today sir, is your lucky day and you get to have whatever you would like!  You see the man who was in front of you… it just so happens that it was his birthday.  It was such a great day for him and he felt so blessed that he wanted to leave some money and share his good fortune with the next person who was in line.  Now that just happens to be you!  You get to have one Venti Frappuccino… compliments of the birthday boy. Would you like the whipped cream?”

When Bill got to this point as he was sharing his experience, he started to cry. “You know” he began, “this man had no idea that there might actually be someone in the lineup, that would be extremely blessed by his gift.  His random act of kindness is so what I needed today…  I so needed this!”

It melted my heart as I watched Bill try to keep his composure.  One “little thing” turned out to be “a major” in this man’s life.  Bill’s emotion was not about the lack in his life, but about connecting to a blessing that truly impacted him in a deep way.  This experience for him was more than a cup of coffee… it was about a message that someone cared… and that there was “someone bigger” looking out for him.  This is what gave him hope.

As Bill pulled himself together he reflected on his experience with these words…”This stranger will never know what he did for me today.  Now I too, must now pay this forward.”

So often, it is the kind things that we do and don’t even think about, that makes a bigger impact than we even know.  It is a reality that there are so many needs around us.  We need to trust our heart…know that it will discern when and how to respond…and we need to heed “the tug” and sow a seed.

What is one small seed that you can sow in the world around you?   Investing in the extraordinary can be something so little, and so simple.  It is something we can all do.  Will you go out and plant some seeds?

Giving keeps on giving!

The story doesn’t stop there.  Bill did sow many seeds, even in his state of lack.  He knew that giving is a principle, and this in this difficult season he had to “keep faith”.  He trusted opportunity would come…and he stayed focused…committed…had intention…and build relationships.  Because he had a dream and took steps towards making it his reality, the difficult “winter season” of his life did pass…his business expanded and it grew larger than he could have ever imagined.  The opportunities that came did not only affect his finances, but they changed the direction and focus of his career.  Bill is investing and planting seeds that will reap a bountiful harvest.

How can you relate to Bill’s story?  Are there some seeds that you can sow in the world around you?  Do you feel a nudge?

Investing in the extraordinary, can be something as ordinary as buying a stranger a cup of coffee.  You get to sow a seed!

Will you “take notice” and go out and plant some seeds today?  Take the opportunity and make somebody’s world a better place!

Without a life—is life really worth living?

Think about it—  If something happened to you, is it your business and what you “do” that you want people to remember— or is it YOU?  What will they remember?

What do you want to be known for?

• Doing what makes you passionate and alive?
• Having the respect of those you love?
• Making a positive impact in the world you touch?

Isn’t this what makes you thrive?

Isn’t it your values— what is really important to you, what you love, believe and stand up for, that really matters?

What are you choosing to let your life reflect?

Many years ago when my children were young, I was involved in many different aspects of leadership, which I so loved. My goal and purpose was to be an influence of positive change and make an impact, and I was dedicated to the process.

As you can imagine, life with little ones is extremely busy and often very demanding.  Time is of the essence!  I was constantly on the run and involved in many different aspects of leadership.  I was spreading myself way too thin.  Time was my most precious commodity and there never seemed to be enough of it.  It felt like I never stopped working and my mind was constantly thinking about the next thing I had to do.

When you choose to “work” and then live — enjoying life rarely happens.

You do what you think is wise and sacrifice that valuable “Me Time”— the time that is absolutely necessary to refuel, and connect to the things that you love.  Unfortunately when you don’t invest in what is really important, which is YOU— the cost is emptiness inside.

What I love about life is that it is a teacher of truth— if you listen!  I remember a particular day of extreme chaos, where life seemed like it was all too much. I felt undone!

It’s moments of crisis like this that really are disguised opportunities for us to evaluate our lives.

So much of life is determined by the questions we ask ourselves— and if we are willing to be honest with our reality.

I needed a reality check and this crisis became an opportunity that positively influenced a decision that I would make, that changed my life.

The question— What do you want and what is most important to you?”— was a question that I asked myself, that opened my eyes to a world of understanding.

In that moment I knew that my leadership value needed some adjustments.  Simply said, I was out of balance and I had to admit it.

Feeling quite stressed by the demands of life, I remember looking at my three precious kids and wondering what kind of influence I was being, when I was too busy to make my family my priority.  I knew “I was a human doing”— and that all I did was work.  I was providing the material things that I felt my family needed yet, what they wanted most was ME— present and fully engaged in their lives.

I was off track with what really mattered— I felt it— and my heart knew it!  I realized that if I kept doing what I was doing, I would make a difference in the world around me, yet if I didn’t have the respect of my kids, there would come a day when they might despise me.  If I didn’t walk the talk at home— and model powerful leadership in their lives, they might see me as a hypocrite no matter what greatness I accomplished!

When you know what is most important, you know what to do!

This was my wakeup call— and the rest is history.   My priorities in life changed because they had to.  They did not align with my values!

This was one of the most powerful choices that I have made.  This is when I learned to be a leader at a whole new level.  Leadership was adopting excellence as my habit, and allowing this to be the constant in every aspect of my life.

Now that my kids are grown, and are incredible human beings that reflect character and strong values, I am so damn proud!  This truly is my greatest accomplishment!

I have the respect, admiration and honor of “the people” who I really care about— AND I am also making an impact in the world around me.  To me this is true success and this feels so right!

When you think about your life, are you investing in what is most important to you?

• Where do you put yourself on your to-do list?
• Do you take the necessary time that is absolutely needed to invest in being your “best self”?
• Are you able to prioritize and fully engage with what really matters?
• Do you enjoy your life and feel satisfied in your relationships, work and personal affairs?

If there are things that are lacking— I have awesome news for you.  You can change this!  All you have to do is to rise up with the “great courage” that is within you— and be real with your present reality.   Here you will find the wisdom that you need to make the necessary adjustments to create the world that you most desire.

Step #1 is:  You must start by putting yourself on your priority list!

If you truly want to be successful, this will be the most important thing that you will do.  You are important physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and you must invest in YOU.

You matter— when you say you matter— and take action!

• What action steps will you take to claim greater aliveness in your life?
• How will you make yourself accountable for your success?
• What is one small step that you will immediately take to have more of what you desire?

If you courageously act and commit to your world of possibilities, anything can happen!

“And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great.

We don’t have great schools, principally because we have good schools.  We don’t have great government, principally because we have good government. 

Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.  The vast majority of companies never become great, precisely because the vast majority become quite good—and that is the problem.”

“Good is the enemy of great is not just a business problem.  It is a human problem.”

Known to be “the student of enduring great companies”, Jim Collin’s extreme dedication and research team, have brought a wealth of knowledge and research to the world that can be learned from.

Jim Collins is recognized as leader, researcher and a teacher.  He is a former faculty member at Stanford University Graduate School of Business, where he received the Distinguished Teaching Award.

When asked what motivates him to undertake huge research projects, his answer is simple—curiosity.

It was the question—“Can a good company become a great company, and, if so, how?” that inspired Jim Collins to assemble a team of researchers to take on the task and tackle one of the biggest questions business has to offer.  “Is the disease of just being good incurable?”

One great question became the source of inspiration for a profound research project that has brought astounding information!

Over a fifteen-year period, the research team gathered extensive research that met “rigorous standards”, to determine what made companies great. The results were surprising, and they were quite contrary to conventional wisdom.

Business Week comments that, “Collins has written a book that seems built to last.”

The principles that Jim Collins and his research team uncovered, about the fundamental differences between great and good, between excellent and mediocre, is timeless and applicable in every aspect of life.

Have I sparked your interest?  I hope so!

We are so blessed to live in an age where information is made widely available and that it is so easily accessible.  Having a book like this, to help us achieve success, truly is a gift.  We can learn to be extraordinary!

Why have ordinary when you can have extraordinary?

A lot of people give up on “extraordinary” because it absolutely requires deep commitment, constant learning, focus, and a plan of action.  They “makeup” the story, that this is too hard.

The reality is—the opposite is true.  When you focus like a laser beam on what is important and what aligns with your core values, nothing is more fulfilling.

You must be your best!

“If you cannot be the best in the world at your core business,” Collins writes, “then your core business absolutely cannot form the basis of a great company”.

BE your best—and have greatness!

There are a few key principles that stood out as I read the book.  The author speaks about a “transformation” process that happened to great companies.

• One of them was that companies had to ignite the spark by first getting the “right people on the bus”, and then figuring out where to drive it.  Collins calls this—“First who and then what!”
• They also had to “confront the brutal facts (yet never loose faith)”.
• And they had to also practice a “Culture of Discipline”, which evidence indicates, leads to “breakthrough”.  What is this “culture”?  It is—disciplined people, discipline thought and disciplined action.

Now this has got me thinking!

I have a personal story I related to when I read the first chapter.  Several weeks ago, I went for lunch with a dear friend to “catch up”.  As we shared openly about our lives, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude when I talked about my business and the success I was achieving.

I know that I had to learn how to “confront the brutal facts” and realize that this is necessary to run a successful business.  I also recognize that hard work, discipline and sacrifice does pay off, when your work has been invested wisely.  Payday does come— and when the day comes and you get a return on your investment—and when you achieve sustained growth—it is a grand time to celebrate!  (If you are an entrepreneur, I know you know exactly what I am talking about!)

Acting not one bit surprised by what I was saying, I had to chuckle when my friend blurted out,  “Of course you are successful!.  Your commitment and dedication to your work has been impeccable.  You have worked extremely hard from the “get go”!  That’s why you are successful. YOU made this happen!”

I knew she was right.  As her words resonated, I smiled and felt a sense of pride and gratitude for my accomplishments.  Something so obvious, I needed to remember and celebrate!

How does this relate to the book “Good to Great”?

It is important to remember that:

Breakthrough happens when there are “Disciplined people, disciplined thought and disciplined action”.

I have spoken to many people who believe that discipline is “taboo” and that it is too restricting.  Discipline is an incredible strength!

Ask the university student that successfully graduates after years of having to apply themselves—or the couple that fights for intimacy and never gives up —let’s not forget that employee, who worked their butt off to excel, and one day is promoted.   Parents have great kids and stay in relationship with them because they choose to spend time together and choose wholeness.  Leadership is discipline and discipline is powerful!

A GREAT life requires belief, excellence, a deep commitment and the utmost discipline.  Discipline is one of the most positive words you can act on. 

It is discipline that brings results!

 When you say a firm “YES” to what works in our life, and to what brings abundance —-this is “greatness” in action.

When you say a firm “NO”—to settling, and just being “good” enough—to compromise —and to distractions, you are able to focus on what really matters!

Settling for “good” or mediocre when excellence and greatness is achievable just does not make sense!  Discipline paves the way.

Applied Learning:

• What are the “disciplines” that you must practice to claim your freedom?
  • What must you commit to so you can have the extraordinary results you want?
  • What is one small step that you will commit to, to make this happen?

Make your success a priority!

Commit to positive thoughts that work for you and surround yourself with people that inspire and challenge you.

Take action and move forward!

When you start, KNOW that there is no turning back—like the general who set out to sea, burning the boats when he landed, leaving only one option—succeed or die!

Know that with “belief”—you have the “will” to do it— and “wisdom” will help you find it!

Commit to your personal path of success!

In last months Newsletter, I wrote about the power of intentions.   When you commit to your dream with full intention to make it a reality, and then take the necessary steps to achieve this, you will always get results!

An intention is “a deliberate plan and purpose to succeed.”   What is your intention?

• How is your life working for you?  Have you positioned yourself to be in the “winners seat” of your life?  What steps are you taking to achieve the success that you desire?

It is quite common that as the month of January comes and goes, so do all those great intentions.  They head straight out for “never-never-land” if we did not take deliberate action and commit to a plan.

• Has the dial on your “potential thermostat” been dialed down? Have you slipped into autopilot and have you resorted to comfort?  Are you been caught by the enemy called “average” and compromised your self?  Have you adopted the belief that being and doing just “okay” is good enough?

Well honey… it is time to stop the krap… see the trap… and wake up and smell the coffee!

And… this is not just for “Pete’s sake”… but for the your sake and the sake of your Greater Self!  YOU matter!
When YOU matter, it is absolutely true that mediocrity is not what you want!  You want a game plan that means experiencing life the way that you really want!  Settling may be a familiar pattern but familiarity does not bring you the growth you need.  You’ll be bored and unfulfilled in a matter of no time…. doing what has not worked in the past and you will be totally unsatisfied.

So stop the “none sense”… get your head out of the sand and step out of your comfort zone.   This “quick sand” perspective of complacency will bring you nothing but deep disappointment!

Let’s shift the FOCUS:

Imagine attaining the results you really want in every aspect of your life:

• Having that spark back in your relationship(s) and feeling alive.
• Sharing deep friendship.
• Having the life that you love.
• Seeing the reward of your hard work.
• Waking up to a day full of meaning and purpose.
• Having the positivity that sees and believes in the endless possibilities.

What is the “large” life you dream about?  What is your vision?
If you lost sight of your dream and vision, you can once again bring this into focus.  This all begins by committing to the plan… YOUR plan to succeed!

SO BEGIN AGAIN!

• What is really important to you?
• What areas of your life do you desire more fulfillment?
• Where do you need to refocus and align your priorities?
• How will you go after what you so desperately desire?

When you make this a priority… take action and design the strategic steps to make this your reality… you are setting yourself up for success!   You don’t have to have all the information of what to do and how to start. You just simply have to commit to take action.

“You don’t have to be great to start, you just have to start to be great!”

I have worked with many people who have a deep desire to accomplish their goals yet “when the going gets tough”, they give up.   When “push”  comes to “shove” they choose not to fight back and this is how they sabotage their greatest potential.  This is almost always because they have not made their dream a priority in their lives.  Not committing and making excuses is what will keep you from having the success you desire.

There is only one way to move forward… and that is by moving your limitations out of the way!

Most things that are really valuable in life don’t come easy!  Hasn’t this been your experience?  What is most valuable requires hard work, discipline and a deep commitment to the process.  There is no short cut.

An example of this is my goal to be physically fit.  It is absolutely important that I stay healthy and fit especially as I age.  I have a personal insurance plan that I continually have to invest in— to stay well, be energized and to enjoy life and appreciate the people that I love.  This is so important because I have dealt with serious health issues that have debilitated my life.  I know that your life looks very different when your health is compromised.  My mom has always said,  “If you don’t have your health, you have nothing!”  She is absolutely right.  My health is what I deeply value and when this is compromised, it is costly.

My proactive practice is to discipline myself to workout, stay active, eat right, and to address “the stuff” (if you know what I mean).  This is not always that easy.  There are days when I don’t feel like it especially when I am tired, and when I would much rather be doing other things.

This is the time I must be mindful of my goal and of what is really  important to me.  Remembering my vision, knowing how important this is to me, and having a “commitment plan”, is how I take action!  This is how I achieve the success I desire.

What is your desire?  What do you need to commit to make happen in your personal or profession life to have more of what you want?

• Imagine finding a solution to what keeps you awake at night.
• Imagine setting that benchmark of success you desire and achieving it!
• Imagine seeing your life very different 6 months or one year from now!

It is “all” possible if you begin and have results in mind!

FAITH = Having the courage to take the necessary steps you need to take in your life right now!

Have faith in you and begin!

So here’s the bright forecast for all of 2012 if you choose:

• You “get to” make life happen personally and professionally… with a “bring it on” attitude.
• Opportunities are out there…  seek and you will find!
• It is not the circumstance that makes life happen.  It is you!
• YOU get to take responsibility for your life and make your life what you want it to be!

I don’t know where you are at as 2011 ends… but for me, it is really important to complete things well, and to start the year anew with a bang!  This creates the momentum I need to be motivated… optimistic… and persistent to go after my dreams and make them my reality.

As I think about completing 2011 well, this means I need to reflect on my “wins” this past year so that I have an empowered perspective.  This perspective is about celebrating what I have accomplished…  and focusing on what I have learned this past year.  This is what inspires me to focus on what is most important… so I can set clear intentions for this coming year.

An intention is – a deliberate plan or purpose to succeed.

What “wins” are you celebrating?  What have you learned and accomplished this past year?

Look at the growth that has happened in your life … how have you changed and evolved over the last year?
What do you know now that you didn’t one year ago?
What steps have you taken to expand your world?

When you are able to celebrate your accomplishments and see your progress, you look forward to your future with optimism and strength!

You are then able to anticipate the opportunities that will come… because you are willing, open and ready…
You are then able to eagerly step up to the plate and position yourself to succeed!

If you believe you can… you will achieve what you desire!  When you put yourself in the game by stepping up to “bat”… you are taking action and positioning yourself for your opportunity to hit a “home run”.

 When you are really ready to play hardball… it is just a matter of time and the “right” opportunity before your dream will become your reality!

What you focus on and believe… is what you become. Knowing this is crucial because this is the key to reaching your goal!
Putting the past in perspective is what grants you power!  This is how you are able to have clarity… and this is how you how you are able to focus and believe in your amazing future.

You are what makes your dream a reality… and believing in your greatest potential is how you will hit “the home run” you most desire!

You create the leverage that you need… by using your past to empower you.

I reflect on my past for one purpose and it is this… it helps me appreciate where I am right now.

It took a lot of discipline, hard work and learning to get to where I am today.  I am so grateful that I knew that bitterness and regret was never an option.

I use to spend a lot of time wishing that I had a brighter future.  I was often preoccupied with the unfavorable circumstances of life.  I compared my life to others and the “measuring stick” always seemed to fall short.

I had many stories that I believed.  I wasted many valuable hours on worry and doubt… imagining negative outcomes, pining over what I had not accomplished and I wished for so much more.  This left me living a life of regret and longing… and I was unable to comprehend the possibilities!

The painful cost of living a life of regret is that you loose sight of the riches that ARE right in front of you!

Unwilling to live in this deprived state… I knew it was up to me to change this! I wanted positive change and it was time!

A new year was beginning and I was motivated to make it a year of intention.  My intention for the year was expand my world… think outside of the box… and when opportunity came, to make sure that I was prepared to go for it.  I knew that the key to life was… to have a positive mindset.

Clarity was what I needed so I decided that I would choose a theme for the year that empowered me and kept me focused.  I decided to claim…  “YES I CAN” as my mantra.

My strategy was to set goals that challenged me to grow, to take the words “I can’t” out of my vocabulary…and to stay conscious about my intention.

As the year started, I realized that this was not that easy.  It felt like learning a new language… and I was really clumsy at it.  I found that when I said the words “Yes I Can”… I questioned myself.  “YES, I CAN” was not yet my belief… it was merely a concept.

As I persisted, weeks went by and small changes began to happen, as I planted seeds of positivity and inspiration in my heart.  I realized that this was a major effort because… it was unfamiliar to me. The negative wayward patterns definitely were a stronghold in my mind, and the key was… I had to continually stay conscious around my intention.

Competency is learned over a period of time and patience is required. It felt like I was reprograming my thinking… and I actually was.  I was learning how to believe!

When you apply diligence, consistency and patience to any aspect of your life, positive change comes!

I knew I had to take consistent steps by having grace to not expect perfection.  I accepted that I was a beginner and mastery would come as I gained experience.

I also had to keep myself motivated and inspired.  I was committed and determined to not give up.  I chose to see challenges as opportunities which motivated me to find a solution.  When you are looking for a solution… you are taking action… and when you take action you DO move forward!

I kept my vision and dream as my focus.  The more I could see it and believe it… I did not waiver.  I knew this was what was most important to me and it was what I so wanted.

Practice, practice, practice… brought results.  This is what changed my reality… and over time, I believe this changed my destiny.

Did the “YES I CAN” theme pay off?  ABSOLUTELY!

It became my philosophy for life… changed my thinking, and changed how I do things.  I attribute this as being the key to my personal success!

The return on my investment was:

•  In business… this was the time in my career where it really started taking off, providing opportunities that I had never imagined.
• As I invested in meaningful relationships… this has brought a world of amazing people that deeply enrich my life.
• AND I have developed a confidence that I have always longed for… as I believe in my authentic path.

NOW… I experience “richness” every day!

Do you want to see change in your personal or professional life?

It all starts with intention and commitment!  Life’s journey is a process and you are right where you should be in this season of time!  Knowing what you want… believing in all that you ARE… and having the confidence to commit and take action…  is how you will make it happen!

INTEND for this to be a new year of great beginnings!

• Commit to your dreams and take action!
• Don’t just settle for ordinary… when you can have extraordinary!
• Invest in YOU… and believe in your greatest potential.

WITH INTENTION…  you will make this a year you will never forget!